


Save Their Light

by CoffeeAndArrows, moonlitprincess



Category: Arrow (TV 2012), DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: ALL THE ANGST, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Past Rape/Non-Con, Or Several, Sara Lance Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-16
Updated: 2018-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-07 23:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14681898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAndArrows/pseuds/CoffeeAndArrows, https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonlitprincess/pseuds/moonlitprincess
Summary: Ava pressed another kiss to the top of Sara’s head. ‘It shouldn’t’ve had to happen,’ she said quietly, her voice still shaking with rage. ‘It … I wish I could change it.’Sara's returning smile was tight, a little forced, but somehow more whole as she agreed ‘Me too,’ before pulling away and adding ‘But it all led me here. And if changing it meant never having met any of you or being who I am today … I don’t know that I would, even if I had the chance.’Or, Sara's past comes back to haunt her and she's not ready, but at least Ava and Zari are there to pick up the pieces.





	Save Their Light

**Author's Note:**

> So writing fanfic is my new way of procrastinating revision wow who knew  
> Anyway, enjoy!
> 
> and y'all can thank @moonlitprincess for sending me headcanons about my fics and then making them like 10 times better :)
> 
> ***contains references to past rape/non-con***

 

Some days, the mission would go right, and everyone would make it back to the ship in one piece without getting thrown into a cell or ending up in the medbay. Most days. Well …  _some_ of the time. 

Occasionally.

In all honesty, it was looking more and more unlikely that this was one of those times. But regardless, they usually did okay saving the day, with only a slight amount of screwing up involved, and that was fine. That was good. 

The minor screw ups kept things interesting.

 

 

But this mission was supposed to be  _simple_ , it was supposed to be  _easy_. A low level anachronism with just a touch of demons involved, low enough that it could count as the team’s  Sunday bonding activity, but still important enough that Sara had an excuse to call Ava about it - just to let her know, in case they needed backup.

Which she kind of hoped they would... because with all these demons on the loose Ava was ridiculously busy, and it was getting to the stage where difficult anachronisms were the only times they got to see each other.

 

 

In her defence, the mission had been fine, at least to start with. They’d found a good point in the timeline to fix the anachronism, Sara had practiced her Latin and successfully banished the weird demons that were terrorising the frontier town they were in, and it looked like they were going to clock out by the end of the day and go back to the Waverider for games night and Sunday family dinner. 

Until another demon reared its head in the tavern they were lying low in, and used its powers to trap the entire team - and Ava, who’d stepped through a portal instantly when Sara had sent out a distress signal - in a time and place selected at random from their any of their own timelines.

 

So of course, they had ended up on the Amazo, knocked out and locked in a dingy room at the bottom of the ship. Apparently, out of 7 people and hundreds upon hundreds of different locations to choose from in their timelines, Sara had to be the one the demon chose to pick on, and the Amazo just had to be the designated destination. 

Of fucking  _course_.

Because it seemed that even after everything she'd been through, this place was the one spot that could break her over and over again. 

The place that still haunted her nightmares, although thankfully not as often anymore as it used to. 

But every now and then her mind would chose to remind her of this ship, and she would wake up shaking, unable to breathe, sweat soaking through her shirt. Those were the dreams Ava couldn’t soothe her through, the dreams where her girlfriend’s hand on her chest sent her even further into a panic attack rather than calming her down.

 

She’d learnt that those nights she couldn’t even try to sleep again, and usually ended up in the shower trying to scrub the memories from her skin.

 

Sara was the first to rise to consciousness after Ivo’s men knocked them out, so she waited, hands tied tightly behind her back with the rope chafing at her wrists. The rest of her team soon woke too, arguing in hushed whispers over what to do to get out of here, wondering where the hell they were and who had captured them. 

Sara leaned forward, resting her head against her knees and trying to breathe evenly. This wasn't something she needed to relive, and it certainly wasn't a situation she wanted her team to be anywhere near. They had to get out of here  _now._ As she glanced back up, she saw Ava’s eyes resting on her, concern overwhelming in her expression. Her thoughts came across clearly as she raised an eyebrow at Sara. ' _You know where we are, don’t you? This is from your timeline_.' 

Sara nodded, not trusting herself to speak without either breaking down or throwing up.

This was definitely from her timeline.  _When_ in her past, she wasn't quite sure.

Ava shuffled closer, her concern growing. 'Hey. You okay?

Sara hesitated, but thankfully was saved from answering by the sudden sound of footsteps echoing all around them. 

 

 

Jerking bolt upright as Ivo entered the room, Sara fought every instinct in her body not to shrink away from him, desperately trying to school her features into something threatening, formidable, and keep the fear off her face. She rose to her feet, as did the rest of her team, all of them looking to her for direction. 

It took every ounce of her willpower not to step away from Ivo as he walked closer, but she remained still, watching his eyes flicker over the team as he took them all in, lingering far too long on Zari before he looked back to the captain. Shivers crept up her spine and Sara’s blood ran cold. She’d forgotten how cruel his eyes were.

‘Hello love.’ He gave a sadistic smirk, making Sara’s insides crawl.

‘What do you want?’ she spat back, trying desperately to slip her wrists through the rope but only grating her skin further as her efforts proved futile.

Ivo advanced another step closer to her.‘I would quite like to know how you came to be on my ship, especially as you appear to be the  _same_  blonde I just left locked in my room.' Ivo's smirk grew, causing a fresh wave of panic to wash over her. 

She was on this ship right now. Younger her. How did he...?

Sensing her confusion, Ivo interrupted her thoughts. 'I'm not an idiot, love. I can see that you're from the future, and time travel isn't as far fetched as some other things I've heard about on this ship.'

He stopped again to flick his eyes across her teammates. ‘So, while you're here, you can tell me _all_ about it. And, also, what this interesting object here is.' 

 

 

Sara's eyes widened and she felt something tighten in her chest as she saw what he was holding up.

Ava's time courier.

_Shit._

This psychopath was holding the key to the entire timeline in his hand - all of history, everything that is, was, and would be, and the cruellest men Sara had ever encountered now had access to it. And they were powerless to stop him.

If he found out what it did, what he had the possibility to do with it...

No.

Sara clenched her fists behind her back. She couldn't think like that.

 

 

She remained silent, not giving in to the gleam in Ivo’s eyes, trying to tamper the growing terror and replace it with the equalled rage burning inside of her. Her team followed suit, staying quiet and glaring daggers at the man before them.

Ivo raised an eyebrow, sighing. 'Well if that's how you want to do this, I have other ways of making you talk. I can be creative - of course, you know that already, don’t you Sara?’

Somehow, his use of her name made everything so much worse, making her feel vulnerable in a way she hadn't since she'd learnt to defend herself.

Every bone in her body was telling her to  _run_  but she couldn’t. Her team was here, Ivo’s men were blocking the door, and there was nowhere to go. So instead she took a step forward, her eyes flashing with anger, hoping the fear steadily building within her was well hidden. 

 

‘Oh, I know Ivo,’ she growled through her teeth. ‘And I’m not the same girl I was the last time you saw me on this ship. Do your worst.'

She took comfort in knowing that part at least was true. She hoped, with every fibre of her being, that the endless pain and suffering she’d survived since the last time she was here would prepare her for Ivo’s torture, for the horror she knew would come. Her voice hadn’t shaken, which she was proud of, but the furious words she’d hissed only seemed to amuse him.

He smiled, a dark pleasure settling upon his face. Sara dug her nails into her palms in an attempt to stop anyone seeing just how badly her hands were shaking.

‘I can see how much you’ve changed,’ Ivo replied, reaching up to run his thumb over Sara’s cheek. She jerked backwards as though his hand was a hot poker, suppressing the urge to scrub any remnants of his touch from her face. Ivo shook his head, slipping his hands into his pockets and turning his back to her. ‘Yes Sara, you’re right. I could do my worst to you and it would make no difference in the world.’ 

He took a couple of steps away from her, pausing in front of Ray, Wally and Zari. ‘So for my creative efforts not to be wasted, I’m thinking I might just let you be.' A slow grin widened on his face as he turned back to face Sara, nodding towards Zari. 'Her on the other hand? She might be fun.’

Sara froze, her blood turning to ice in her veins, the tremors in her hands and arms now too violent to hide. Faintly, she heard Ivo inform them he would be back within the hour to see if they felt like cooperating, before leaving the room, along with the other crew members. The door banged shut, the clang of the locks echoing throughout the hold of the ship and the team stood there in momentary silence.

 

_No._

Sara’s thoughts were racing, her stomach churning, eyes burning with the threat of oncoming tears, the taste of acid rising in her throat.

_Not this._

_Not Zari._

Zari, who had already been through so much and didn't deserve this. Zari, who only last night she’d sat with on the floor watching the  _Harry Potter_ movies instead of sleeping, Zari who had finally admitted that she’d found a home on the ship, Zari who still didn’t know Sara could understand her hilarious insults in Arabic, Zari who thought she was tough and that she could handle anything the world threw at her.

Zari, who had become Sara’s best friend since Amaya left, the heart of this team, who made fun of the boys being nerds but was still wide eyed with wonder at all the small things they didn’t have in 2042, and who wouldn’t hesitate to put herself in danger for everyone on the team without thinking twice.

 

But she didn't  _know._  Amaya was the only she'd told anything about what had really happened on the Amazo, and even she’d found out inadvertently. 

And Amaya wasn’t here. 

Amaya wasn’t here to back Sara up, to argue that torture under Ivo wasn’t an option, to implore the team to  _trust them_ because they knew things about this ship that the others didn’t. Things that the others  _couldn’t_ know.

And there was no way in hell Sara was going to let her team get hurt, especially when it was her past that had got them into this situation in the first place.

A familiar panic settled in her chest, this time more urgent, as though her ribs were tightening around her lungs and a weight was crushing down on her shoulders. Rationally, she knew her team would think of something. Rationally, she knew that her time on this ship meant she was familiar with it inside out, but she was struggling to think, images of the last time she was here flashing through her mind. What if -

No. The thought interrupted any panicked hypotheticals that had begun to form in Sara’s head, the voice clear and firm and decisive. It was her voice, her  _current_ voice reassuring the scared girl within her that it was going to be different now.

This wasn't going to end like last time.

It  _wasn’t._  
  


 

Somehow, whilst Sara had been focused on keeping her breathing even, Ray had managed to disentangle his hands from the rope and grab his suit from his inside pocket, shrink, and was now in the process of freeing the team from the rope Ivo's men had bound them with. He’d already untied Ava, Zari and Nate when he got to Sara. 

The instant she was free, the wall she’d put up to hide her fear from Ivo crumbled, her stomach lurching as she dropped to her knees and emptied the contents of her stomach onto the floor, her entire body now visibly trembling.

Ava lunged forward to support her weight before she collapsed, and Sara instinctively leaned against the other woman, grateful for her presence. The feeling of Ava’s arms around her shoulders and the warmth of her hands brushing her hair away from her face calmed Sara’s violently thumping heart. She closed her eyes, leaned into Ava’s shoulder and mumbled 'I can't believe this is happening again.'  
  


 

'It's okay, Sara,' said Zari in an attempt to reassure her, moving so she was directly in front of the captain. She shrugged, sliding her hands into her pockets. 'It's not like I haven't been in a situation like this before. I was a fugitive in 2042, remember? And Argus wasn't exactly ... restrained, especially when it came to torture.'

Well that was a revelation that deserved to be discussed later, (and judging by the immediate gasps and angered exclamations by the rest of the team, Sara wasn’t the only one who had something to say about it) but now was really not the time.

'No, Z.’ Sara shook her head, the words quiet and directed at the floor. She couldn’t meet Zari’s eyes, the crawling feeling of shame creeping up her neck. 

She knew she needed to keep the other woman as far from Ivo and his sick, sadistic torture as she could, but there was only one way for Zari to know the gravity of what he would do, and Sara couldn’t bring herself to say anything.

Finally, she lifted her eyes to meet Zari’s. She looked fierce, defiant, but still concerned, a hint of curiosity on her face at whatever the captain wasn't saying about the situation. Sara opened and closed her mouth several times before giving her head another small, defeated shake, the words she wanted to say falling mumbled from her lips, unintelligible, even to Ava who was still holding her close. 

 

By now, the rest of the team was out of their ties and on their feet, crowded in a small huddle, watching the exchange between their two team members. At the audience, Sara felt the slight confidence she’d built to confess the truth ebb away and she shrunk into Ava’s embrace.

‘It’s okay, we’re gonna figure something out,’ said Ava, her hand pressing against Sara’s shoulder, urging Sara to look at her.

In all honesty, Sara wanted nothing more than to turn around and bury her face in her girlfriend's shoulder, to stop fighting the urge to collapse and cry and let everyone else deal with it for a change, but something within her was still screaming in fear. Fear for Zari, who still had a light inside her that the world hadn't extinguished, fear that unless she  _knew_ what Ivo was capable of, she wouldn’t understand just how desperately they needed to get out of here. 

 

She had to say something.

She had to keep Zari safe.

So she forced herself to look back at the brunette, ignoring the blatant worry on the other woman's face, trying hopelessly to channel her terror into making the other woman  _understand._

Which she knew would be easier if she could just manage to get the words out of her mouth. 

But every time she tried to force them out, they caught in her throat, tongue sealing to the roof of her mouth and teeth clamping shut, a lump settling in her jaw. The team were all still looking at her expectantly, and she couldn't do this, she couldn't breathe, she couldn't  _think._

She felt the burning sensation in the back of her eyes return as tears began to collect against her eyelashes, and she cursed, blinking them away. Zari's gaze softened, and the next time she looked up, Sara knew it was different. 

 

With the tears she was trying to stop her expression was so raw, so terrified and desperate that Zari's eyes flickered, and Sara watched the exact moment that the possibility of the truth began to cross Zari’s mind. 

Her eyes widened and she almost shook her head to dismiss it, until she saw Sara swallow and the realisation dawned. The concern morphed into disbelief, then horror, then something unidentifiable - a mixture of rage and fear and sympathy.

‘ _Oh_ ,’ she breathed, the words coming out hoarse. ‘Oh.  _No._ ’

There was an unmistakable edge of pity in her eyes which Sara didn't want and didn't need, but when she opened her mouth to tell the other woman -  _what_ to tell her _,_ she wasn’t quite sure, all she knew was that she had to pull it together, reassure Zari that it was fine, do anything to stop her from  _looking_ at her like that - all that came out was a strangled sob as her breath caught in her throat, and the dam burst.

'Oh, Sara,' she heard Zari murmur again, and she felt arms come up around her as she was tugged out of Ava’s arms and pulled into Zari’s. She was shaking badly again, she knew that, and the team were all watching, but all she could focus on was forcing air into her lungs as she buried her face in her friend's shoulder, still trying desperately not to let her tears fall.

Ava’s hand came to rest on her back, moving to card fingers through her hair, and Sara felt Zari’s head lift to meet Ava’s gaze, clearly delivering the unspoken message thatZari had caught on to just moments before. Ava’s choked gasp was audible and Sara burrowed further into Zari’s hold, a sudden, sickening fear of what Ava would say coiling within her for a moment. But almost immediately, Ava’s hand returned to her back, gentler than it had been before.

 

 

Eventually, Sara felt as though she regained a level of calmness and control, finally pulling away. Zari gave her a small smile, tinged with sadness, and gently squeezed their interlocked fingers. Keeping her teammate's hand clasped tightly in her own as encouragement, Sara turned to face Ava, who immediately leant down to press a soft kiss to her girlfriend's forehead. Some of the tension in Sara’s shoulders disappeared instinctively at the action.

When Ava pulled back, there was a distinct, hard anger on her face, and her voice was cold as she vowed 'I'm gonna kill him.'

Sara smiled, but it was weak and slightly defeated. 'You can't. We're not meant to be here and it would be dangerous to mess with the timeline. This is technically part of an anachronism.’ Ava ran a shaking hand through her hair. She knew that. She did. 

They all did.

Sara's experiences, her past -  _this_ time on the ship. It led to a catalytic series of events, setting the dominoes in motion that had Sara ending up on Lian Yu, joining the League, returning to Star City as the Canary, dying, and eventually becoming a Legend and being the Captain of the team today. It led to her becoming who she was.

But still.

‘I could have Gary check the timeline,’ Ava said venomously with a slight shrug. ‘Find a point in time where it won’t matter if I kill him.’

Sara let out a quiet, sad chuckle. ‘Aves, no,’ she murmured, too quiet for the rest of the team to hear how her voice cracked as she spoke. She gave Zari's hand a final squeeze before dropping it and turning to fully face the other blonde, grasping Ava’s shirt in her now free hand. ‘He’s not worth it. Not worth what it’ll cost  _you_ to have to kill him.’

Ava tightened her lips as though she disagreed, but nodded, pulling Sara into another hug that she relaxed into, tucking her face into the crook of her girlfriend's neck and clutching her shirt tighter. 

Ava pressed another kiss to the top of Sara’s head. ‘It shouldn’t’ve had to happen,’ she said quietly, her voice still shaking with rage. ‘It … I wish I could change it.’

Sara's returning smile was tight, a little forced, but somehow more whole as she agreed ‘Me too,’ before pulling away and adding ‘But it all led me here. And if changing it meant never having met any of you or being who I am today … I don’t know if I would change it, even if I had the chance.’   
  


 

There was a noticeable pause, no one quite knowing what to say, before the silence was broken by Ray. He, Wally, Mick and Nate evidently had the foresight to step away from the  _moment_ the three women had had and instead address how exactly to get out of their prison. 

Mick was still watching Sara carefully, and she knew that surprisingly enough, he might be the one other member of the team who had caught on to their conversation. But rather than saying anything, he just grunted and jerked his head towards Ray.

'Sara. Hey,’ Ray mumbled and waved a little awkwardly, unlike Mick, clearly not entirely understanding what had just transpired. 'I uh...'

He gestured to the open door, raising an eyebrow, clearly lost for words. In the time that Zari, Sara and Ava had been talking, the four men had used a combination of Nate, Wally and Ray’s powers to unlock the bolts of the door.

‘We don't want to rush anyone,’ said Nate, ‘but I think it would be a good idea to get out of here before anyone gets back. Especially that Ivo guy. He seems like a piece of work. And as much as I’d love to steel up and kick his ass, I think it would be safer if we disappeared under his nose and got back to the Waverider.’

Sara couldn’t help the fond smirk at the keen, eager expressions on his, Ray and Wally’s faces, hoping they’d been helpful.

‘Good job guys,’ she said warmly, nodding. She let Ava and Zari both pull her to her feet and from there, her instincts took over. A fierce protectiveness for her team suppressed any lingering fear and uncertainty, and when Ava quietly asked ‘You sure you’re okay?’, Sara was relieved that her answering nod wasn't a lie. 

As she ushered her team out of the room, Ava immediately set about searching for - and thankfully finding - her time courier, abandoned on a guard’s table that was temporarily unmanned.

Wally looked around, checking for any signs of Ivo's men. ‘I’m guessing whoever’s meant to be guarding us will be back soon.' 

‘Is the courier working?’ Zari asked, glancing over to Ava who nodded, tapping her code into the courier, enabling her to open a portal back to the Waverider with the bright flash they were all so used to.

‘Go,’ said Sara urgently, a sudden desperate need to get them  _away_ from this horrible place engulfing her. ‘I’m right behind you.’

 

Wally sped through, Nate jumping through after him and Ray doing a quick scan of the ship before hopping back onto their own. Mick moved to the portal too before glancing behind his shoulder and pausing, raising an eyebrow at Sara.

‘Go,’ she repeated, this time a little softer. ‘It’s okay Mick. I’m just having your guys back.’

At that, he gave her a nod and stepped through, Ava following him, knowing that on the off chance Ivo was to come back in the next few moments, it would be far more important for them to close the portal and have access to the Waverider than to let Ivo get his hands on the Time Bureau tech. 

Behind the rest of the team, Sara moved to follow through the portal but her exhaustion had her stumbling, a moment of panic flashing through her mind as thoughts of being left on this ship blinded her. But before the terror could wrap its cold clutches around her for more than a few seconds, Zari came to stand beside her, wordlessly slipping a warm hand into her cold, trembling one, and tugging her through the portal. Ava let out a soft exhale in relief and snapped the portal closed.  
  


 

‘I’ve got first dibs on the shower!’ yelled Nate as soon as the momentary silence of relief had passed.

‘Oh come  _on_ ,’ complained Ray. ‘I’m the one sweating all day in this suit.’

‘I’m the one who can get there before either of you,’ said Wally with a smirk and disappeared with a crackle of lightning, Nate and Ray immediately sprinting off the bridge after him.

Sara’s eyes shifted to Mick who just gave her a small nod and disappeared down the hallway. It was obvious they were trying, without much subtlety, to give her space. In any other circumstance, she would’ve insisted she was fine, laughed it off and delegated post-mission tasks and shower schedules. But right now she didn't care, couldn’t bring herself to worry about how they saw her or the fact that they now knew about her darkest secrets. 

The fact that she wasn’t worried didn't say much about her mental state, but right now Sara couldn’t be anything but relieved to not be on the Amazo.

 

She was exhausted.

It had been too much.

The only thing keeping her upright was Zari's arm, which had drifted to around her shoulders and was leading her from the bridge into the office. Sara was so drained she didn't even notice the tears falling down her cheeks until Ava lifted up her hand to brush them away, her gentle caress only prompting more tears to fall.

She didn't even know what she was crying for. Ivo hadn't got his hands on her team, he hadn't even got close. And realistically, he could never have hurt anyone. She had learnt how to fight, Ava could fight, Ray had his suit, and the rest of the team had superpowers. 

But still the tears continued to escape down her cheeks.

Tears for the past? For the girl she had once been before  _The Gambit_ , before Ivo and his crew had picked her up?

Relief that Ivo hadn't gotten his hands on anyone else? On Zari?

 

It was Zari's voice that drew her out of her thoughts, a quiet murmur of ‘Thank you’, punctuated by Zari wrapping her arms tighter around Sara, moving to rest her head on the captain's shoulder. 'Thank you for protecting me. I’m not as strong as you … I don’t think I could’ve gotten through that the way you did if it had happened to me.’ She paused. ‘It's... It's been a long time since anyone's cared this much about me.'

‘We’re family Z, you know that. I would never let anything happen to you if I could help it.’ 

She smiled softly at her teammate, her gaze sincere. ‘Thank you for being there, for having my back when I -.’ She cut off, and a shaky breath stuttered past her lips as she turned her head to her girlfriend. ‘Both of you. I couldn’t have coped having to go back there without either of you.’

Ava smiled, stepping backwards to flop down onto the leather couch by the far wall, reaching up to pull the other two women down with her. She and Zari adjusted as Sara curled up between them, exhausted. She was almost definitely needed back at the Bureau, but when Sara shifted to rest her head against her shoulder, she knew instantly that they were was no way she was going back now. 

She glanced over at Zari who had leaned back, eyes snapping shut with exhaustion and slowly drifting to sleep the same way Sara was.

’Turn your brain off Aves,’ murmured Sara. ‘Come nap with us.’

Ava snorted with soft laughter, resting her head against Sara’s and stretching an arm around her. ‘Only because you insist.’

‘I definitely insist,’ Sara replied, keeping her eyes closed as she blindly moved to press a kiss to Ava’s jaw.

 

‘Ew, gross, if you too are gonna be all lovey then I’m outta here,’ said Zari, gagging and moving to get up.

‘No!’ said Sara, arm shooting out with assassin instincts to grab Zari’s wrist and tug her back down to the couch. Her voice was sleepy as she spoke, words slurring in a way that had Zari and Ava both smiling affectionately. ‘Stay, Z. You guys … you were my safety net today. You made me  _feel_ safe. And I know we’re not in danger now, but I’m still kinda freaked out so … just stay for a bit? Please?’

Ava pulled Sara tighter against her. Zari nodded, even though Sara’s eyes were shut and couldn’t see her.

‘You got it Captain,’ she said quietly, reaching out to tangle her fingers in Sara’s. ‘As long as you need.’

 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from Demons - Imagine Dragons  
> ' _Your eyes, they shine so bright, I want to save their light  
>  I can't escape this now, unless you show me how. _
> 
> 'Comments and kudos make my day, come scream at me :)


End file.
